Minnesota State Fair 2013

Let’s turn once again to the great state get-together of the Minnesota State Fair 2013:

Up for breakfast, the Breakfast Sausage Corndog’s a sausage link coated in pancake batter that’s deep fried and served on a stick with a side of maple syrup.

I’d most be excited for Portabella Mushroom Bites, but unfortunately $9 only got fairgoers “small, sad, rubbery mushroom parts riding atop crostini.”

At the restaurant, Mancini’s Garlic Toast is a warm white and rye toast with slices that are “light and yet so thick that while the grill chars the outside to a crisp, the inside stays soft,” delicious enough to eat “slab after slab” of the buttery, garlicky delight. But at the fair? It’s more like “a plate of oversized and rather sad croutons, cold and crunchy and overpriced as a pick axe during a gold rush.”

Cafe Caribe’s Slider Trio “lived up to every negative stereotype of Mexican food in our grate state,” with “white sauce; thick, dry flour tortillas; and blandness kicked down to negative 11.”

Similarly bland was the Chipotle Chicken Salad Fajita. “If you could turn the abstract concept of ‘contempt’ into a food, it would taste like this,” writes a fairgoer. “[A] skeet shoot would have been an appropriate and emotionally gratifying end to this culinary monster.”

A little better? The Northwoods BBQ Taco, featuring pulled pork seasoned with bourbon maple syrup and garnished with coleslaw.

The Three Little Pigs Torta features pork loin (piggie number one), black forest ham (porcine pal number two), and applewood-smoked bacon (porker number three) brought together with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, Swiss cheese, jalapeño peppers, beans, avocado, and chipotle mayo on a toasted french bread roll.

There’s nothing to the Idaho Taco aside from topping a tater like a taco.

Same could be said of Philly Fries, with spuds subbing for the cheesesteak.

 

 

Minnesota State Fair 2014

Minnesota State Fair 2014:

Deep-Fried Breakfast on-a-Stick takes a sausage patty, slice of Canadian bacon, egg, plus American and Swiss cheeses and sandwiches it all between two pancakes. But since that’s not enough, it’s batter-dipped and deep-fried too.

Also for breakfast, there’s cream cheese cinnamon pull-apart Gorilla Bread. It’s slathered in buttery caramel sauce before serving.

These Rustic Savory Scones are buttermilk-based with ham plus Swiss and mozzarella cheese baked in, served topped with béchamel sauce, black pepper, and freshly-grated Parmesan.

A dish that “easily qualifies as breakfast for two,” Chilaquiles are a heaping pile of tortilla chips smothered in chili verde sauce, chicken, fried-to-order eggs, sour cream, and a sprinkling of lettuce and tomatoes.

A cross between breakfast and lunch–some might call it “brunch!” Oh, the clever devils!–PB&J French Toast is served with your choice of ham, bacon, or sausage on the side.

Chicken in the Waffle, a crunchy waffle cone filled with Cajun-seasoned, bite-sized fried chicken and drowned in creamy sausage gravy. At the bottom of the cone is a surprise:  A malted milk ball, to prevent the gravy from seeping through.

Made from animals pasture-raised in nearby Wisconsin, these Bison Dogs are hickory-smoked and served Chicago-style or with your choice of toppings on a poppy seed or plain bun.

The Caribbean-Style Lobster Roll tosses chilled lobster salad in citrus chipotle mayo and cayenne pepper, allspice, and nutmeg. It’s all offered up in a soft, buttered and grilled roll.

Korean BBQ Collar uses ginger sesame accents for its pork collar and provides faux-kimchi sweet pickles on the side.

Walleye Mac ‘n’ Cheese is a “beastly amount of food.” The two-pound boat of pasta and fresh fish is topped with with smoked Gouda cheese, roasted red peppers, and parsley bread crumbs. It looks rather better in its official portrait, but so do we all.

 

Minnesota State Fair 2014:  (continued)

Farm Handwich is a roast beef slider with spicy pimento cheese sauce and fries, on the inside!

It’s hard to believe something as classic as the Bacon-Wrapped Turkey Leg launched in 2014.

Or Meatloaf on-a-Stick. This edition was “gelatinous in texture, with any flavor drowned out by the viscous, two-sweet ketchup / corn syrup / cayenne glaze.”

Pizza Tots, or hash browns meshed with pizza, “taste like you’re eating pizza, which might make you wonder why you’re not just eating pizza.”

Pretzel Curds coat the cheese in batter made from crushed pretzels and Pilsner beer.

Blue Cheese & Corn Fritz are deep-fried corn fritters filled with crumbled blue cheese. That’s fresh herb chimichurri on the side.

Iron Range Pierogies are deep-fried potato and cheese dumplings served beneath a bed of crispy onion strings and horseradish sauce.

Schnitzel Strips take seasoned, breadcrumb-coated pork tenderloin strips that are deep-fried and served with a lemon, garlic, mayo sauce on the side.

Described by one food critic as “simplicity itself,” Deep-Fried Lobster on-a-Stick features Canadian crustaceans coated in butter and battered in a corn-based coating before it’s deep fried and skewered.

Less well-reviewed, the Shrimp Dog takes baby shrimp and cream cheese, coats it in batter, and serves it deep-fried and on-a-stick.

 

Minnesota State Fair 2014:

Gluten-Free Beer-Battered Brat uses a pork brat made in St. Paul and sorghum beer. It’s also served on a stick.

For those unfamiliar with the classic Ohio candy, Buckeyes are creamy peanut butter balls coated in chocolate save the characteristic “eye” in the middle. Here, though, they’re also dipped in funnel cake batter, deep fried, coated in powdered sugar, and offered up with strawberry sauce.

Deep-Fried Baklava, served on a stick, is served like chocolate sauce.

The curiously-spelled Xtreme Chocklit Fudge Puppy wraps a chocolate chip-speckled chocolate waffle around a stick, dips it in chocolate, coats it in whipped cream, and tops it with chocolate sprinkles.

Described as a “fusion of feathery light cotton candy, flaky shaved ice, and creamy layered snow,” SnoRibbons sounds like a delight. It’s offered in 14 flavor varieties, including mango tangsicle, salty dog, strawberry pretzel cream cheese, coffee ‘n’ donuts, banana toffee crunch, grasshopper pie, red hot velvet, green tea black sesame, frozen hot chocolate, chocolate cherries jubilee, cocoacaramel, salted caramel corn crunch, horchata-churro, and blue cotton moon. Bonus? It’s low in sugar and in calories too. MPA roadtrip, anyone?

It doesn’t look quite as good in real life, but the taste more than makes up for it. Here’s the Horchata Churro, which is vanilla rice snow, rum caramel bananas, cinnamon churro cookie, and milk sauce.

Chocolate Dessert Salami features a “meat” made of chocolate, almonds, walnuts, and butter mushed up and rolled into a salami shape before it’s cut, dusted with powdered sugar, and served on specialty crackers. There’s a hint of orange and coffee in the mix, because what would salami be without a bit of mystery in the meat?

It looks even better in real life!

 

Minnesota State Fair 2014:

Black Hills Gold, a sweet cream Oreo pecan praline caramel concoction favored by former President Obama. It’s served at the fair on a stick, as well as a waffle cone or cup.

The classic JonnyPops made their fair debut in 2014 with a special edition known as Snelling Strawberry Rhubarb.

These “wonderfully old-fashioned and utterly divine” Apple Rollovers take cinnamon-tossed apples and fold them in layers of flaky pastry. The dish is topped with an apple cider glaze.

Hot Toasted Waffle Ice Cream Sandwich, which takes toasted waffles with a light powdered sugar coating and sandwiches a wedge of vanilla ice cream between them.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen the words “tractor-churned” before, but here we have it to describe this Caramel Apple Ice Cream. It’s infused with caramel and interspersed with diced Granny Smith apples. The stand also offers Bubblegum ice cream dotted with Chiclets.

Beer Gelato is made fresh each day of the fair at the fair from local craft oatmeal stout.

The classic Minnesota dessert brought to ice cream, the Jell-O Salad Ice Cream takes a sweet cream base that’s infused with fresh lime juice, swirled with cranberry sauce, and blended with marshmallows dipped in marshmallow creme.

Florida State Fair 2016

Florida State Fair 2016:

Burgers for breakfast! Start your day with a bacon cheeseburger with French toast for buns.

Burgers for brunch! The Double Barrel Burger’s a glazed donut topped with cheese, bacon, a patty, then another (half) donut, a second patty, a heaping pile of mac ‘n’ cheese, even more bacon, and a third donut.

Burgers for bubba! Bubba’s Bacon serves the 50/50 Burger, which takes a quarter-pound of hand-cut ground bacon and a quarter-pound of ground beef mushed into a patty, grilled, and served with cheese on slices of Texas toast.

Burgers for lunch! The Redneck Burger tops a bacon cheeseburger with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, fried bologna, baked beans, and deep-fried potato sticks.

Burgers for bacon! The Bacon Bomb Explosion Burger uses a patty made of ground beef and bacon crumbles that’s seasoned with ranch dressing and barbecue sauce and wrapped in a lattice of bacon. It’s slow-roasted and hickory-smoked then sliced up and served on a kaiser roll with more bacon, plus cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, cheese, and crumbled potato chips.

Burgers for dinner! The Southern Belle Burger takes a cheese-topped patty, adds on a fried egg, fried green tomato, pile of bacon, and scoop of pimento cheese salad.

Burgers for breakfast, burgers for lunch, burgers for dinner, and burgers for…dessert? The Ice Cream Burger tops a beef burger, cheese, bacon, tomato, onion, and pickle with a scoop of sweet, crunch-coated “Mexican-style fried ice cream” served on a buttery, toasted bun. Not sure about the authenticity of that claim, but nevertheless…

 

 

Indiana State Fair 2016

Indiana State Fair 2016:

The Double Decker Burger piles two bacon cheeseburger patties between three glazed Krispy Kreme donuts and garnished with mac ‘n cheese, more cheese, bacon, and lettuce, tomatoes, and onions for good measure. It’s five inches high, so big you can’t fit it in your mouth, and one intrepid reporter claims it could feed four. Methinks they underestimate state fair goers.

It’s held together with skewers and served with a plastic knife and fork.

Bonus human for scale.

Another in the “things that shouldn’t be burger buns” category, the Funnel Cake Burger was quite literally dreamed up by a man who couldn’t sleep for fear of failing to create a new state fair food to wow customers. Silly human; the formula is simple:  (Deep + Fried) * (On-a-Stick)  / Combinations that Shouldn’t Work but Do

The Big Cheeze’s Mac Daddy layers a thick pile of mac ‘n’ cheese in between a grilled cheese sandwich.

Sometimes, simple works best.

There’s also the Smokin’ Hot on Rye Bread, a grilled cheese with sriracha jack and cheddar cheeses.

 

Indiana State Fair 2016:  (continued)

How about the Slaw-B-Q, a barbecue sandwich with coleslaw slopped on top.

And looking a lot like a misplaced entree, the Lamb Taco Lettuce Wrap takes spiced ground lamb and serves it in a leaf of lettuce, topping it with diced tomato, shredded cheese, sour cream, and chives. Surprised by the choice?

The fairgoers who reviewed it were really trying for the Bison Cheesesteak Egg Rolls, which at the time were sold out. Now that’s more in the state fair spirit.

Up for a side? This $11 BBQ Baked Potato’s smothered with barbecue pulled pork, bacon bits, butter, sour cream, and chives. Want to drown it in liquid cheese? That’ll be a dollar more.

There’s also this Potato and Pork Parfait…

…Fries with nacho cheese…

…or other toppings, including BBQ Pulled Pork Beer Cheese Fries.

“The beauty of this mouthful is that it’s sort of good for you,” writes a local reporter of this Buffalo Chili Cheese Sweet Potato Haystack. Why? Because they’re fresh sweet potatoes, spiral-cut and deep-fried to order? Or is it the toppings of peppery black bean chili with lean bison sausage and mozzarella cheese? Maybe the comment speaks more of the fair’s other offerings than of this particular potato pile.

My pick goes instead to Ya-Ya’s Tomato Balls, and not just because they’re vegetarian. Papageorge blends spiced ‘n’ diced tomatoes, garlic, onions, and cheese together and deep fries the veggie balls, serving them with cucumber sauce.

 

Indiana State Fair 2016:  (continued)

There are also Deep-Fried Cheese Curds…

…and Deep-Fried Sauerkraut.

Bridging the gap between deep-fried and dessert this edition, we have Deep-Fried Chocolate-Covered Strawberries…

…Deep-Fried Cookie Dough, and…

The Deep-Fried S’mores, which doesn’t work quite like you think:  It’s not a deep-fried graham cracker, marshmallow, and chocolate sandwich. Rather, the stand dips jump marshmallows as big as pool balls in batter, deep fries them, and tops them with graham cracker crumbs, chocolate, and powdered sugar. One fairgoer comments:  “Marshmallows aren’t my favorite thing, so upping their proportions to compose 90% of the total snack mass grossed me out.”

Deep-Fried Cake on-a-Stick is served as two plum-sized, vanilla-frosted Funfetti cake balls that favorably surprised one reporter:  “They taste like warm pieces of vanilla birthday layer cake,” with a surprise squirt of warm frosting. Methinks you’d put your eye out.

Bonus bite-through shot!

This Giant Amish Donut is the size of a plate!

And Birthday Cake Funnel Cake, complete with pink frosting and sprinkles

Iowa State Fair 2016

Iowa State Fair 2016:

The Blessed Breakfast–a.k.a. Big Boy Plate, if you need a more unsettling name–is a freshly-baked buttermilk biscuit cut in two and piled high with two slices of ham, heaping portion of potato bites and scrambled eggs, and doused with sausage gravy, shredded cheese, and optional jalapeño slices. It’s served with another buttermilk biscuit to help mop up all the sauce.

The Pride of Iowa wrap rolls shredded pork shoulder and hickory-smoked bacon in a 12-inch jalapeño cheddar tortilla, alongside crumbled tortilla chips ,cheddar jack cheese, and chipotle mayo aioli, fresh avocado relish, and sweet corn salsa.

The Iowa Turkey Federation offers its Not Your Mamma’s Taco, a deep-fried tortilla stuffed with tender, seasoned shredded turkey, tomato-free mango salsa, and homemade veggie slaw. Not quite sure what precisely about this mothers in general or your mother in particular would dislike, but with or without her support, it was named the best new food of the fair.

The Duke is a cup of grilled corn and smoked sausage smothered in spicy BBQ sauce and topped with pepper jack cheese, pork rinds, and chives.

I love the Slopper for its name, although it’s really playing a “walking taco” game. The stand serves a cut-up, grilled foot-long hot dog in a bag of crushed Fritos and tops it all off with chili and cheese sauce, plus optional sauerkraut, sour cream, onions, pickles, and jalapeño peppers.

Bacon Cheddar Brat is a grilled pork brat sandwich with bacon and cheddar mixed into the patty. Because nothing says “respect for the animal” like stuffing it with its dead relatives.

The Ultimate Bacon Brisket Grilled Cheese takes “artesian-style” cheddar bread smothered in dry rub butter and dressed in provolone, farmer, and cheddar cheeses, plus shaved smoked beef brisket and applewood-smoked bacon. It’s grilled until golden brown and crispy.

 

Iowa State Fair 2016:  (continued)

Starting our “on-a-stick” section, we have… This hardboiled egg. Ahem.

The Italian Bacon Wrap on-a-Stick is a deep-fried, bacon-wrapped link of Italian sausage. What, did you think there’d be bread or vegetables in there?

Deep-Fried Porkchop on-a-Stick.

Cheddar Bacon Cheese on-a-Stick is a hunk of cheddar cheese and bacon that’s battered and deep fried.

The Jalapeño Double Bacon Corndog is a bacon-wrapped corndog that has bacon bits and jalapeños in the batter.

These Loaded Tators on-a-Stick are balls of shredded potatoes, cheddar cheese, sour cream, chives, and bacon bits that are battered, deep fried, and skewered.

To make this Funnel Bacon on-a-Stick, thick strips of bacon are woven around a wooden skewer. They’re deep fried, dipped in funnel cake batter, and deep fried again, topped with your choice of maple butter cream, chocolate syrup, or caramel sauce.

 

Iowa State Fair 2016:  (continued)

Continuing our “deep-fried” and “on-a-stick” trend, we have the Fried Fruit Kebab, which consists of  strawberries, peaches, and pineapple, if you can taste it beneath all the batter and melted chocolate.

Both dessert, deep-fried, and on-a-stick, these Apple Fritter Bites are balled-up, deep-fried bits of doughy goodness. Served at a stand called Applishus, of course.

Ice Cream Nachos, featuring 16–yes, apparently someone counted them–cinnamon sugar chips, two scoops of cinnamon ice cream, and coverings of whipped cream, caramel and hot fudge syrups, chunks of caramel and chocolate, strawberries, candied nuts, and a cherry on top.

Can you tell where one portion of this Fruit Pizza ends and the next begins? I can’t!

These Lemon Bars look like they could serve 2 or 20. I’m betting on the former.

This Caramel Apple Cinnamon Roll looks terrific and toothsome.

Among the many items offered chocolate-dipped and on-a-stick is the Caramel Cocoa Crispy Crunch, a frozen mix of caramel fudge, marshmallows, white chocolate chips, and cocoa crispies.

Mm… S’mores Sundae.

I saved one of the best for last. The Strawberry Blonde is simple and sweet, featuring a light and fluffy, crispy and crunchy Belgian waffle topped with a strawberry glaze, freshly-made Chantilly cream, and freshly-sliced strawberries, all accented with a white chocolate drizzle.

New York State Fair 2016

New York State Fair 2016:

Spiedies are a Binghamton specialty, which smothers cubes of meat with sauce. Different stands offer different versions, inculding beef, chicken, and kangaroo.

This plate of BBQ chicken’s another tradition, having been served at the fair for over 65 years. This version’s served by the family of Robert Baker, the man who invented the chicken nugget and a namesake marinade.

Pulled Pork Nachos tops the chips with–you guessed it–pulled pork, plus spicy peppers, sour cream, and nacho cheese sauce. “One of the best things I tried at the fair this year,” writes one reporter.

Another pulled pork offering? BBQ Poutine, which drowns some fries in gravy, pork, and cheese curds.

Or opt for Philly-style beef in these Beef Fries. Not the most creative name, but hey? Who has time to think when you’ve got gravy to contend with?

Garlic Parm Chicken Wings are another favorite.

Boiled Peanuts, which are “warm and soft and buttery” and “halfway on their trek to peanut butter.”

 

New York State Fair 2016:  (continued)

Almost healthy, the Citrus Salmon Lettuce Wrap nestled a big hunk of salmon next to mandarin oranges and onions on a field of lettuce and dressed in a sweet-sour citrus glaze.

Less so? This Mac ‘n’ Cheese Hot Dog. “The undisputed food champ in my book,” ravces a fairgoer. “It fed my inner child’s desire to smother everything in macaroni and cheese.”

Even less so still? The three-pound Harvester is Thanksgiving dinner in a dish. There’s turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cheese, cranberry sauce, and deep-fried bacon sandwiched between slices of butter-drenched sourdough bread. The whole thing’s grilled and served up with a side of gravy.

The Bacon Bomb, a patty made of woven bacon slathered in sauce and served up like a burger, is what one reporter calls “a State Fair essential.”

Another essential…anywhere? Fried Chicken, which at Henry’s Hen House has a slight pepper seasoning. “Chicken that’s done right.”

Can’t choose just one? The Combo Plate offers up mashed potatoes, mac ‘n’ cheese, cheese ravioli, pickles, and buffalo wing dip, all battered and deep fried.

How do you serve vegetables? According to It’s a Utica Thing, you deep fry them and hide them with bacon, prosciutto, bread crumbs, and Parmesan cheese.

Or just deep fry them and serve them on a stick. Dr. Vegetable’s Deep-Fried Veggie Combo is, writes one reviewer:  “All the greasy pleasure of fried food without the guilt or bellyache of a deep-fried Oreo.” Right…because it’s just the Oreo that’s unhealthy.

 

New York State Fair 2016:  (continued)

Bridging the gap between “deep fried” and “dessert,” we have Fried Dough Balls. Little spheres of pizza dough deep-fried and coated in cinnamon and sugar may be standard fare elsewhere, but this was their fair debut.

Or you could pull out the pizza dough into a two-foot stick before frying it and coating it in sugar.

Grandma’s Kitchen offers up this plump Apple Dumpling…

…and hiding beneath a pile of whipped cream is this Peanut Butter Cookie Sundae.

Chocolate-dipped cheesecake on-a-stick is served frozen and refreshing, “the way cheesecake should be.”

There’s Sweet Potato Pie. Other offerings by Gwen’s Grill in the Pan include lemon cake and bean pie.

I’d most like to try Mr. Sticky’s walnut and cinnamon buns, a decadent treat that’s the best one reporter‘s ever had.

Or Utter Delight’s soft serve. How about you?

Wisconsin State Fair 2016

Wisconsin State Fair 2016:

Up for breakfast? There’s Breakfast Tots and Donut Grilled Cheese to start your day at the fair off right.

The Elvis Chicken and Waffle Sandwich uses banana peanut butter waffles and chicken topped with maple sriracha sauce.

I can’t think of anything that screams “WIsconsin” more than Beer Cheese Fondue. The cheese- and beer-sauce is also garnished with bacon and scallions.

And few things are more traditional than the day-after Thanksgiving sandwich. At the Wisconsin state fair, you can recapture the magic with the Thanksgiving Day Burrito. Behind the bland beigeness, the tortilla contains deli turkey, instant stuffing, instant potatoes, and a salty gravy. Couldn’t hurt to add a little color. How about pumpkin pie puree or cranberry relish?

The Thank-Full Chicken Sandwich is more like it. The cranberry sauce is plentiful, spread across both bun halves, and embracing chicken breast, deep-fried stuffing balls, and gravy.

Personally, I’d opt for the Mac Bottom Pizza. It’s a pizza that uses deep-fried macaroni and cheese as a crust. If that’s not enough, available options include pepperoni and sausage or chili mac, the latter of which boasts beef brisket chili, beans, chopped red onions, and serrano pepper crema.

The Bacon Pork Burger is a little less complicated. Pig-on-pig-on-pig!

The Mountain Man Bloody Mary Burger mixes five different animals–antelope, bison, boar, elk, and venison–in a third-pound patty and seasons the meat medley as though it were the beverage. It’s skewered alongside cheese curds and mushrooms also marinated in a Bloody Mary mix, plus pickles, olives, and celery.

Door County Surf and Turf on-a-Stick offers Black Forest prime rib served with cherry horseradish sauce made from Door County cherries skewered alongside shrimp and a lemon slice.

 

Wisconsin State Fair 2016:  (continued)

Klement’s Famous Racing Sausages Corn Dog serves up slices of every racing sausage–including hot dog, chorizo, bratwurst, and Italian and Polish sausages–as though they were one giant monstrosity.

Deep-Fried Cheese Balls on-a-Stick.

Deep-Fried Olives on-a-Stick are briny, green queen olives crammed with cream cheese, battered, and deep fried.

Deep-Fried Fruit on-a-Stick. What kind of fruit? Fruit! …which is to say, they don’t say.

Unfortunately, deep frying gnocchi renders the dough “gummy, a bit rubbery, and virtually flavorless.”

And deep frying Spam doesn’t mean you can call them “curds.”

Disco Tots are deep-fried tater tots topped with nacho cheese and gravy.

And Pork Rind Nachos are crispy pork skin deep-fried and smothered in nacho cheese and sour cream.

Deep-Fried Bread Pudding Bites are “delicious,” writes one On Milwaukee reporter. “Tender and warm, with a crisp exterior and just enough caramel sauce to enhance their sweetness.” I’ve never had bread pudding before–apparently it’s a method of soaking stale bread in milk or cream and baking it–but it sounds like deep frying bread is a trend I need to see spread.

 

Wisconsin State Fair 2016:  (continued)

The Deep-Fried Ol’ Fashioned is a drink, dessert, and deep-fried treat all in one. The Wisconsin classic brandy beverage is infused into cream cheese, which is brought alongside orange pound cake and a maraschino cherry and dance into the deep fryer. It’s all topped with whipped cream that’s flavored with bitters.

Want just a drink? Caramel Apple Hard Cider Float serves Angry Orchard hard apple cider and two scoops of Cedar Crest Caramel Collision ice cream in a cup rimmed with caramel and peanuts.

How about just dessert? The 50-Yarder on-a-Stick, an ice cream sandwich made with cake batter cookie dough ice cream caught between two football-shaped double chocolate chip cookies.

Chocolate-Dipped Crullers on-a-Stick. A deep-fried donut isn’t quite well-dressed enough for the fair.

Fiesta Cookie Dough on-a-Stick is chocolate-dipped and coated with spicy chili pepper bits.

Winner of the Sporkies awards, the Everything Root Beer Float Cake is, well, a root beer-infused cake shaped like a root beer float.

The foamy head of the root beer’s made of sweet meringue, the body of the cake is flavored with the classic Sprecher Root Beer, there’s root beer-infused buttercream injected in the center, and the whole thing’s encased in chocolate ganache.

Last but not least, I leave you with one more bit of peak Wisconsin:  Beersicles. The popsicles are Pabst Blue Ribbon, frozen as either a citrus shandy (pictured) or raspberry delight.

Arizona State Fair 2016

The Arizona State Fair 2016 featured some strange and unidentifiable options, but don’t laugh. As a writer for the Phoenix New Times points out, state fairs have left an indelible mark on plates in America and around the world:  “Historians point to the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis as a watershed moment in American food history–that particular fair helped popularize many now-classic American fair staples like hot dogs, hamburgers, ice cream cones, and cotton candy.” Which of these offerings might become the next burger? Read on to find out!

Start off your excursion with a blast! These Bacon-Wrapped French Toast Bombs stuffs a hunk of bread with cream cheese, wraps it in bacon, fries it, and serves it up with a heaping dollop of whipped cream and maple syrup.

The Mowie Wowie Pineapple Bowl layers white rice, creamy Hawaiian coleslaw, and a protein of your pick–options include chicken, beef, sausage, shrimp, or ribs–in a halved pineapple, topping it with a teriyaki blend sauce and sesame seeds.

Before we move on to the deep fried section of this list, let’s feature a refreshment. The Tamango, a favorite of Raspados patrons, is a shaved ice drink made of tamarind and mango syrup, plus fresh mango, tamarind candy, and some chile powder for a kick. The sweet, sour, salty, and spicy concoction is “without exaggeration the single greatest thing in the universe when you’ve been cooking on hot asphalt under the Arizona sun all day.”

Or, you could opt for a drink that’s deep fried. To make this Deep-Fried Caramel Macchiato, a blend of coffee and caramel is rounded, frozen, and wrapped in dough before it’s deep fried. Three such bite-size balls are offered up in a coffee cup, complete with whipped cream and caramel sauce. Unfortunately, it wound up being “nothing more than mediocre fritters filled with a sticky, coffee-flavored paste. Actual coffee wants its cup back. Now.”

Toothless Dragon Wings, twice-fried chicken wings in orange sauce made fresh each morning from real oranges, are a new offering from Eggroll on-a-Stick, a stand that says the dish is called toothless since its wings lack the spicy kick of most hot wings.

“One of the fair’s serial offenders when it comes to meaty immoderation” offers the Deep-Fried Bayou Burger. “If the patties were breaded and fried,” it might have been enjoyable, but as a reporter for AZ Central continues, “all they did was toss a patty in the deep fryer…to inconsequential ends.”

Bacon A-Fair’s trip to Arizona bears the tidings of Cheesy Bacon Bombs, but these bacon-wrapped, cheese-stuffed fritters have “some sort of processed, oil topping” that one reporter thinks “was meant to resemble garlic. Spoiler:  It did not.”

Also deep fried, we have a cinnamon roll…

…PB&J…

…and veggie sampler, featuring broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, zucchini, and onions.

 

Arizona State Fair 2016:  (continued)

The deep-fried Bacon Nutella Pickle, a hollowed-out pickle injected with Nutella and bacon bits, has “military-grade breaded coating [that] can stop a round fired from an assault rifle at point-blank range.”

Unfortunately, the Deep-Fried Tamale on-a-Stick–which made its fair debut in 2016–“crumbles like sand” if you try to eat it like a (mystery) meaty lollipop, and “it’s hard to tell exactly what you’re eating.” Best to stick with the stand’s other offering:  A 3-pound burrito.

Up for (deep-fried) dessert, we have a red velvet cupcake, served on a stick.

Also skewered are these Deep-Fried Twix bars, served two to an order, natch.

There’s also Deep-Fried Cheesecake, with mystery blue frosting syrup. Alluring, and horrifying.

This Strawberry Fritter straddles the list, since the fritter’s deep-fried but (fortunately) the strawberries are not.

As all donuts should be, the Big D’s deep fried too.

As is this…deep-fried…something. I don’t know what it is, but I want to eat it. What do you think?

This Selfie Snow Cone, a snowcone adorned with cotton candy, giant lollipops, and assorted candies, is worthy of a thousand pictures, let alone words. Maybe it’s selfie-fied foods that’ll walk away crowned as the new hamburger. Given what I’ve seen on Instagram, perhaps it already has.

The Big E 2015

The Big E 2015:

Starting up our sojourn to the fair this time, there’s Breakfast Sausage Lollipop, a meat stick dipped in corn batter, deep fried, and soaked in syrup.

The Craz-E Breakfast Sandwich “[m]ight just be worth the price of admission.”

Personally? I’d take the flight for this Giant Cheese Stick instead.

Unlike the typical nesting doll of meat, the fair’s Turducken Sandwich is more like a leftover sandwich, featuring a patty made from ground chicken, turkey, and duck confit that’s served up with American cheese and cranberry aioli on grilled white bread.

Also new to the fair in 2015, the Garbage Bowl features a tangle of French fries and onion rings, crowned with a cheeseburger patty that’s then covered in caramelized onions, bacon, and hot dog pieces.

I think it’s dwarfed in size and scale by these Volcano Fries, topped with pulled pork, sour cream, cheese, and gravy.

Or these freshly-made potato chips, garnished with bacon and cheese.

 

The Big E 2015:  (continued)

Another new offering are these bread cones. Bacon Mac & Cheese are just one of the combinations offered up in a bread-based holding device; another cornucopia-crowners is Chili & Pulled Chicken.

This French Meat Pie with Gravy (no way, gravy? I’d never have guessed.) is homemade, featuring a mix of hamburger, pork, potatoes, onions, and celery in the pie mix. A breakfast version, served Benedict-style with hollandaise sauce, is also available.

Also in the meat pie category, this Fried Shepherd’s Pie is balled up, deep fried, and smothered with beef gravy.

Featuring the New England classic, a sandwich made from peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, this Fried Fluffernutter offers “piping-hot perfection.”

How about a Fried Veggie Platter as a side to go with your mains?

Mm… Tangled

At least one item within it was identifiable.

Another side worth a feature, the Arepa consists of Mozzarella nestled between two sweet corn cakes.

I can’t help but smile at what Frigo’s insists is the World’s Largest Homemade Meatball. It’s so sweet and sad I want to adopt it and watch it raise little meat grandbabies. …what? I’m not weird, I swear.

 

The Big E 2015:  (continued)

How about Deep-Fried Whoopie Pie? The dessert’s basically like an Oreo made with soft cake cookies, for those unfamiliar.

Typically known to New Orleans, the Big E offers Beignets with chocolate sauce. These treats continue our deep-fried-to-dessert transition given they’re traditionally deep-fried, unlike our whoopie pie forebearer.

Did you think we left bread cones behind at dinner? Ha! The Dessert Cone is filled with chocolate and topped off with fruit, although there might be more whipped cream than produce.

Speaking of produce, how about this Blue Razzle Chocolate Banana? It looks like the poor fruit is smothered in not one but two different layers of candy coating, as no part of its supple flesh can be seen disrobed.

The Chocolate-Covered Cannoli also features chocolate mousse. Fortuitous rainbow lighting optional.

Regular cookie dough not cutting it anymore? Why not turn it into a sundae!

These Mini Donuts are also served up like a sundae with freshly-made whipped cream.

Want to opt out of the toppings? Another stand offers 19 mini donuts as the smallest size they have.

 

The Big E 2015:  (continued)

This Maple Bacon Waffle Sundae is “[t]astes like breakfast and dessert all at once.” It’s a Belgian waffle–made with bacon in the batter–topped with vanilla custard, fluffy whipped cream, bacon bits, and maple syrup.

This homemade blackberry soft-serve is so good…

…it even turns the cows purple!

There’s Bread Pudding, in whiskey…

…and chocolate flavors.

Fairgoers who try the Choco Baco Frenzy can customize the chocolate-covered bacon on-a-stick with toppings like sprinkles, coconut flakes, walnuts, jalapeños, or Heath bar crumbles.

In the “Why did no one think of this before?” category, Moolicious offers the Smash-A-Pie, a signature dish that mushes up your choice of pie with vanilla ice cream and slings it in a cup.

Last but not least, my favorite of the fair? This Ice Cream Cake Ball, which crams vanilla ice cream into rich, chocolate cake and covers it with hot fudge and sprinkles, plus a dollop of whipped cream with a cherry on top.

The Big E 2016

New England’s (Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island) the Big E 2016 celebrated its 100th anniversary in 2016, and its creations were as creative (and calorie-bursting) as ever!

First up, the Big Tast-E Burger. It’s the winner of a fan contest to come up with a new burger for the Bud & Burger Pub’s debut to the fair. The third-pound of beef is seasoned with basil, oregano, and garlic and topped with American cheese and pepperoni. The grilled brioche bun it’s served upon is drizzled with Italian ketchup.

Continuing the naming trend, the Hot Diggid-E Dog takes a cheese-infused hot dog, wraps it in bacon, and tops it with Boston baked beans and more cheese.

The Craz-E Burger’s a bacon cheeseburger with glazed donut for buns.

Or, if you prefer to start your morning right, you can opt to have waffles for your bacon cheeseburger. You know, for health reasons.

Because this is New England, there’s clam chowder, offered in a bread bowl. It’s New England-style, of course. Where did you think this is, New York?

Speaking of regional delicacies, there’s Stuffed Clams…

…and Lobster Rolls.

 

The Big E 2016:  (continued)

Unique to no region but the state fair, we have giant food, like this 18-inch bratwurst.

Or this One-Pound Meatball

And there’s weird food, like Skippy’s Dare Pizza. It’s a white pizza that uses peanut butter as sauce and tops it with Provolone cheese and bacon. The stand kept tally of how many people tried it, which can’t be a good sign.

You wouldn’t know by the taste, as these Noah’s Ark of burgers–available in camel, alligator, and kangaroo–look and taste like any plain ol’ beef patty. Your wallet will feel the difference, as they’re $9.25 each.

Is the Garbage Bowl name apt or not? It’s a pile of fries, onion rings, and a slab of bacon tangled up with a hot dog and cheeseburger. The $8 portion looks a little wimpy, by state fair standards.

The Flatliner Burger is so massive it has to be held together with two skewers. It’s two patties with cheese, bacon, French fries, chili, and cheese sauce.

And state fairs also serve things on a stick that shouldn’t be, such as salmon.

 

The Big E 2016:  (continued)

Anyway… Moving on! This Poutine comes swimming in vegetarian-friendly gravy that one writer calls “meaty dream sauce” and “cheese curd clouds from Canadian poutine Valhalla.”

You can top your Tots-a-Lot with combinations like the above Chicken Tot Pie–which involves diced chicken, peas, carrots, and chicken gravy–as well as Shepherd’s Pie, Pulled Pork, and Totchos.

In the “actual nachos” category, these Ultimate Cowboy Nachos are topped with barbecue sauce, shredded cheese, and sour cream.

The 28-ounce Beer Boot comes with a trophy:  This lanyard boasting of your accomplishment for finishing the libation.

Is it cruel irony or culinary innovation to serve a chopped up, blended, and juiced fruit in its former husk? Either way, this Watermelon Juice looks delicious and deserves a lanyard all its own.

The chicken in this Chicken and Waffle Cone is dipped in waffle batter and deep fried, making it an inception of the waffular variety.

 

The Big E 2016:  (continued)

Starting our deep-fried section this time, we’ve got some scallops.

And a Bloomin’ Onion (lawsuit filed by Outback in 3…2…1…).

Bonus shot because who’s seen a raw Bloomin’ Onion?

Another vegetable in the deep fryer? Zucchini, cut up and served like fries.

And mushrooms, which are not. I’d love to see them fry-ified!

Also joining the deep-fried produce pals are bananas, topped with peanut butter, chocolate, and caramel.

The Burger Bomb, a pastry-wrapped, deep-fried cheeseburger, is served in a pool of goulash. Appetizing…

Deep-Fried Mac & Cheese Bites with Bacon are really just big ol’ balls of cheesy pasta, deep fried and topped with more cheese and bacon.

But why bother with all those fillings when you can just deep fry the dough itself? At least this offering comes with maple syrup and bacon.

 

The Big E 2016:  (continued)

Even drinks are deep fried at the fair, like this Deep-Fried Piña Colada. It’s made by soaking pineapple in vodka, dunking it in batter before encasing it in coconut flakes and deep frying it.

Similarly, the Deep-Fried Cosmo combines cranberry juice, triple sec, and vodka, chills it enough to batter and deep fry it, creating a “semi-solid, semi-liquid” goo.

And you can get this martini deep-fried, not shaken nor stirred.

Bridging the gap between deep-fried and dessert, we have Deep-Fried Pumpkin Bites…

…Deep-Fried Apple Pie…

…a Deep-Fried S’more on-a-Stick…

…and Holy Cannoli, deep-fried cannoli served with creams both ice and whipped.

Also anointed, if in name only, the Holy Cow takes a glazed donut hole, crams in vanilla soft serve, and decorates it with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and powdered sugar.

Bonus bite-through shot.

Another bovine bounty, these Moo Nuts are ice cream-stuffed donuts.

 

The Big E 2016:  (continued)

And did you think we left beer behind too? Nope! Meet Beer-a-misu!

The Dessert Ball features the Big-E’s infamous cream puff stuffed with ice cream and topped like a sundae with whipped cream, hot fudge, and a cherry on top.

Another dessert ball, the Ice Cream Cake Ball, returns from its debut in 2015.

Check out this Apple Pie with Cheddar Cheese. Believe it or not, but the flavor combination works. Somehow.

A refreshing-looking Rose Berry Farm Strawberry Shortcake.

Maple Needhams are otherwise known as Potato Fudge, an eccentric mix of potatoes, coconut, and maple syrup served in a chocolate candy coating.

This Blueberry Pierogi Sundae began as an unintended collaboration. The owners of Millie’s Pierogi would plop their pierogis in a cup and walk down to the nearby Moolicious to top the treat with vanilla soft serve. But this wasn’t precisely portable, so Moolicious offered up a waffle cone, and voila! Taste-wise, the vanilla soft serve decked in whipped cream, blueberry sauce, fresh blueberries, and cinnamon sugar, flavors which meld beautifully together and hide a still-warm pierogi underneath.

Wow… Is that… Fresh fruit at the fair? That’s the surprise of the century!